I was working on an earlier blog post this morning, something inspirational that has to do with accepting your flaws and becoming a better person. But then I got miffed and now I am on this spiral craze of emotion. Or in other words, I'm in a ranting mode.
And what better way to rant than in a blog online were all my friends and family can see it? They already know I'm crazy.
I am so tired of not knowing what I want to do with my life. I understand that it is a changing time and how everyone has to "pay their dues" by trying to be successful in life. I know that so many adults seem put together and my friends all have their plans for the future in order. But you know what?? I call bull shikey on the whole thing!
That's right. I'm calling it, there is NO instruction manual to life. And if there is no manual, that means there is no cookie-cutter way of doing things. Which means the whole stress of trying to fit the mold of college, good job, and picture perfect family is merely an ideal thrust upon us young adults by our society.
Like any good indoctrination, it happen so gradually that we didn't even realize it. I've always liked to consider myself smart, at least with my quick wit and loud personality, and that I would do well in my future. Which I still believe to be true. That being said, I don't think my future is what other's think it should be.
I would love to get through college, have a nice career, settle down, maybe write a book... (like a self help book because maybe that could help me figure things out faster. Then again, we all know that no one hardly takes their own advice)... and live happily ever after. *roll credits*
But maybe, just maybe, that's not how my life is supposed to or will play out.
If you were to ask me what I wanted to be when I was younger, before the influence of grades or money played a roll in my life, I would have told you that when I was older I wanted to be a stay at home mom.
If you were to ask me what I wanted to be when I graduated college, I would say some sort of job I could do that wasn't all that boring with a nice paycheck.
If you were to ask me yesterday, I would have told you I have no clue. (Even after watching the movie Get a Clue and Clueless, I would still be at a loss for words).
However if you were to ask me now, after all the emotion and feelings of last night, I would tell you that I simply want to be happy.
I know that I have a lot of people looking at me. Like all of you do. Friends, family, loved ones, all looking anxiously at how we are going to win at this game of life. And even though they mean well, the pressure can really take it's toll on our young, un-experienced minds.
We're young, we are stressed, we are trying to figure things out, and we're doing the best we know how. Like I mentioned earlier, life doesn't come with a manual because no two lives will EVER be the same. And our parents, the adults in our lives, the elderly people, all had to figure life out too. We are not the first ones to go through this process and hopefully we won't be the last (depending on when the robot apocalypse will break out...). But that being said, it is our personal journey, so our answers also won't be the same.
All this being said, I think I know what I want to do this up-coming semester. And it isn't a semester in college. I want to go teach English in a different country for 5 months. Because I think that would be amazing.
I don't know really know how to end this post. Um... don't do drugs, remember who you are, and most importantly, NEVER bathe in hot oil and bisquick.
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