I'm on campus, writing up my homework assignment, and it hits me... the very essence of what I'm doing that is. I'm working, learning, studying, WRITING. Can you guess which one is my favorite?
Now, this might seem like a normal, day to day, activity for a college student. And you would be right, as long as that college student actually cares enough to finish said homework assignments and isn't at the University just to PARRRTAAAYYY. I haven't met too many like that in my class, being a senior, but I'm sure this breed still exist. Mostly because after sport games that the University as at home, the feeling of over-enthusiastic brocks linger... like the taste of olives on a pizza even though you picked them off.
ANYWAY, this is significant to me because yesterday I was bulldozed by my own emotions.
You ever feel like you are trying to make everything work in your life and it starts crumbling faster than you can pick up the pieces? And then something completely small and insignificant happens, like dropping a pen you were using, and suddenly because of that small, insignificant thing, ALL YOUR EMOTIONS ERUPT INTO A STRESSFUL VOLCANO. You know, just as a hypothetical example.
Well I'm not saying that happened to me yesterday, I'm just saying that if you called me a Volcano Goddess, you wouldn't be completely false.
But the fact that I got up this morning, put on my overalls, and came to school early to work on my last bits of homework for the day, shows that I'm an adult. Well, trying to be an adult. And one of the biggest lessons I've learned from this is actually two.
1.) Adults usually don't know what they are doing. Even the Adultier Adults. They just have more practice in understanding the freedom and importance of realizing that not everything is going to be cookie-cutter easy.
2.) All of us will have those moments when the whole world is crumbling around us, and it's okay to feel sad. But, you can't let that moment overtake your life. The next day, hour, minute, you have to buck up and say to Life itself, "You hit like a <insert something offensive that doesn't hit very hard>!" and then carry on.
Oh please, Carry ON.
It's tough, it really is. But, speaking as someone whose eyes hurt from... um... weakness leaving them in streams yesterday, it's a lot rougher in remaining down and depressed with yourself. Because if you aren't even willing to give yourself a chance in life, what makes you think Life is going to?
I also realize that this blog is becoming somewhat neglected over the last few months, and not many people read it. However consider this moment a re-dedication on my part to write my thoughts and stumblings through life more consistently. Let's say, once a week. I feel like that's a fair and realistic goal.
Also, it's something you can look forward to weekly. I know you love these posts, you don't have to tell me. But, if you feel so inclined you can actually tell me because that would be splendid to hear, haha.
Well, that's it for now. And I don't know how to end it...... soooooooooooo fin.
